New Beginnings

Today is New Year's Eve. Lots of people around the world will make resolutions of one kind or another. Everyone's looking for a fresh start. However, the Lamentations 3:22-23 says:
The faithful love of the Lord never ends![a]
    His mercies never cease.
23 Great is his faithfulness;
    his mercies begin afresh each morning.

So if the Bible says that God's mercies are new every morning, then why do we wait until January 1st every year for a new beginning? Every morning is a fresh start to begin anew.  May we remember to take each day as it comes, and start fresh everyday.

Don't say HATE

My husband and I tell people quite a lot that we don't say the word "hate." We even went as far as to teach our children not to use that word. Not when describing how they feel about another person or about a thing.

Some people think that it's very strange that we just don't use that word. However, when Jesus teaches us that we should love one another how can we have hate anywhere around us. Hate grows & festers.  If we hate one thing that hate moves on to other things in our lives. Therefore, we choose to live in love.

Making Progress

It's been a few months since my last post.  It's been a busy few months.  I just finished my first class towards my ministry degree.  I learned a lot about Spiritual Formation.  I think I learned just as much about myself too.

When we open our hearts and minds to the lessons that God wants us to learn, it becomes an amazing journey.  My success through this class just goes to show that Philippians 4:13 is true.

Getting Excited

When I decided not to go back to college 20+ years ago, my aunt said I would never go back.  For a long time I thought she was right.   I was originally going to school to be a teacher.  However, after working in a daycare center, I realized that I don't have the patience for teaching.

So if teaching was not to be my profession, then what do I study?  That was hard to answer.  I just couldn't narrow it down, & until I did there was no point in me going back to school.

So, I just kept praying for God to show me His plan.  He kept telling me ministry.  However, I never listened long enough to find out what kind of ministry.  I did children's ministry.  That didn't work out.  I tried women's ministry.  That kind of fizzled out.  I might try it again as the church has lots of new families.  However, where I am being told to be is preaching His word.

So, with excitement, I start the first of many classes on Monday, September 17th.  I am ready for this new chapter in my life. Who would have ever thought I would be excited about school.  Go figure.

Is there something that you are excited about?  This world can be a depressing place.  Leave me a note to let me know what you are excited about.  Maybe we can be an encouragement to each other.

Peace Beyond My Own Understanding

Why is it that when we want something, it doesn't seem to matter to us whether or not it is part of God's plan?  As humans, we are selfish people.  Our wants seem more important to us than what is actually best for us.

I have been thinking a lot lately about all the choices that I've made without seeking God's will.  It doesn't matter whether those decisions were for big things in my life or little ones.  It often seems that when I don't seek God's will, something goes wrong.  Sometimes I put myself in the way of God's plan.

I am learning that whenever I seek His will before I make a decision, He guides each step that I take.  It just makes things easier.  I am even finding that I am happier in general with God directing my path.

You know, it's strange... God has been showing me that being patient and trusting Him brings such peace in life.  Is everything perfect all the time?  Not even close.  However, when I trust him completely, He brings a peace that is beyond my own understanding.

Is there something in your life that you need to give over to God in order to get peace in your life?  Leave me a message and I will be happy to pray for you.

Being Called Out...

I don't know about you, but I don't like being called out.  My word for this year is positivity.  However, lately I have let my anger get the best of me, & it has turned to negativity.  And I have been called on it.

My husband has called me out on not only the anger, but my lack of patience as well.  When the nurse at the doctor's office called at the last minute to let us know our new doctor was not available for his appointment, I went off on the nurse and it was not her fault.  Since I've been working in the same customer service job for almost 19 years, you would think that I would know better. I know what it feels like to have someone yell at you for something that you have no control over.

God has also been calling me out on my lack of patience.  I've been looking into going to school.  However. I was becoming frustrated when I wasn't finding the school that He wanted me to go to right away.  God told me to just hold on and sure enough an online class within my budget became available. And He called me out again reminding me to wait on his timing and not my own.

I'll be honest with you.  When my husband calls me out I tend to get upset or angry. After all, I'm not perfect and neither is he. I don't take it much better when God calls me out. However, I must remember that both God and my husband are calling me out because they care about me.

How do you handle it when you're called out? Do you take criticism with a grain of salt and learn? Or do you do like I do intend to get upset and then have to go back and apologize? I think it's better to learn from your mistakes and accept the criticism. Otherwise we could go through life just making the same mistakes over and over again.

Joy out of Frustration

James 1:2-4 says "Dear brothers and sisters,[a] when troubles of any kind come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy. 3 For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. 4 So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be perfect and complete, needing nothing."

Does this mean we will jump for joy every time we have a trial in life?  Absolutely not!  However, it does mean that we need to understand that some trials in life are meant to teach us something.  You might learn the lesson immediately.  However, if you are stubborn like me, it could be months or even years before you learn that particular lesson.

A friend recently posted on her Facebook page that there are blessings not only in gifts God gives us, but also in the trials of life.  She is so right.  There have been things in my life that I begged God for... Only to either be told no, or to be told to wait.  I have been frustrated over a lot of things.  However, God's plan is ALWAYS better than mine.

So, how do we turn sorrow & frustration into joy?  It certainly isn't easy, and I know from experience that I can't do it on my own.  However, we have all heard Philippians 4:13 "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." That means that if we seek God's will and ask Him for help, He can get us through any difficulty.

My prayer for anyone reading this is that you praise God in times of trouble.  I find that praise music helps tremendously.  It is very calming.  Use this and prayer to give you strength as you seek Joy out of Frustration.

Grief

There comes a time in everyone's life when we lose someone that we love.  My mom used tell me that nothing is certain in life except death & taxes.  I say that nothing is certain except Jesus, death & taxes.

I had just turned 19 years old when my dad passed away.  Since he passed away just before Christmas, it changed the holiday for me.  It was a sad time instead of joyous.  It remained that way until I had kids and saw the excitement in their faces on Christmas morning.

When my brother passed away, it was a pain like I have never felt before.  Then my mom passed away which brought more pain.  Sometimes it has been more than I can bear.

I share this not to make people feel sorry for me, but to show how the death of our loved ones ones can affect us.  The hurt is real.  There is no time table for grief.  Everyone grieves in their own way.

I know a few people grieving.  I pray for them daily.  I understand their struggle.  If you know someone who is struggling with the loss of a loved one, pray for them.  Send them a private message to let them know that you are thinking of them.  It will mean more than you will ever know.

Life Lessons

I bought a new shirt the othe day that says "Blessed by Jesus & Spoiled by my husband."  Most times I love being spoiled.  However, there are times when my wants get in God's way.  I fnd that when something isn't going my way, I often have to stop & try to think about what God's lesson is in that particular trial.  In fact, Romans 5:3 says "we can rejoice too, when we run into problems and trials, for we now that they help us to develop endurance."

So how do we stay positive and rejoice in troubled times?  How do we keep from automatically becoming that person that wants to have constant pity parties?  It's definitely not easy.

For me, I have to stop and ask God to show me the lesson I am supposed to learn.  Then I turn to worship music.  One of my favorite songs is "Praise You in this Storm" by Casting Crowns.  I also love the song "Blessings" by Laura Story.  Both of these songs give me the ability to look at the situation with positivity instead of negativity.

Leave me a note telling me how you keep from becoming negative when it seems like trials are abundant.

Hope for Tomorrow

In a previous post, I stated that we shouldn't worry about tomorrow.  However, we can still hope & dream.  Hebrews 6:11 says: "Our great desire is that you will keep on loving others as long as life lasts, in order to make certain that what you hope for will come true." We should allow hope to bring us joy.

God is constantly working in the background.  He is making plans for our future and setting things in place.  We can go for years without seeing what those plans are, but once He shows us those plans, we can start to plan for that future.

God is slowly showing me the plan that He has for me and my family.  There is joy in planning the next steps of His plan.  There is a lot that needs to be done.  However, I am not stressing over any of it.  I know that God will work it all out.  He is showing me that when I say yes to His plans & give Him control that there is no need to worry or stress.

So as I look forward to what lies ahead, I know that there is hope for the future.

Relationship with God

Have you ever moved to a new city, or even to a new school where you didn't know anyone?  It takes time to meet new friends.  It takes even more time to build lasting friendships.  You have to spend time with them in order to build that relationship.

It's the same with our relationship with God.  It's not enough that you invited Christ into your heart.  He wants a relationship with you.  It is not something that happens over night.  You have to spend time in His word.  You have to pray to hear his voice.  Most of all, you have to submit to God's will.

Growing up I was always sad & angry that I wasn't getting what I was praying for, or I wasn't getting it right then.  Most of all, though, I wanted Him to show me the plan that He had for my life.  However, when I see what lies ahead of me now, I know why He waited to show me His plan.  I would have fought God. 

You see, I never thought that God would call me into ministry.  Satan was lying to me.  He kept telling me things like "Women shouldn't preach God's word." I was never the best student, so Satan would use that to make me think that I'm not qualified to preach His word.

All my life I heard the phrase "God doesn't call the qualified.  He qualifies the called."  I thought I understood what that meant.  However,  the past few years He has given me a lot to think about.  He has been slowly teaching me (qualifying me).  He has put it on my heart to bring others to Him.

It started with little things like my Facebook page.  I didn't think twice about sharing a post that had cuss words in it.  Or complaining on Facebook about how things weren't going my way.  God put it on my heart that I wasn't being a good example.  So I cleaned up my Facebook page.

Next he started working on my relationship with Him.  He showed me that just because I went to a Christian school and went to church, that I still had a long way to go in my relationship with Him.  He showed me that memorizing scripture means nothing if I'm not living those truths.

One of my biggest struggles has always been my lack of patience.  However, when I prayed about moving back to NC, the answer was always "just wait.". When we came to the decision that NC was not where we were to be, there was a complete peace about it.  I can tell you with certainty that if the answer was "no" from the beginning, my very stubborn nature would have been to react with anger.  Instead, he waited and let us come to the conclusion that we are not to be there.

In waiting for His perfect timing, we stayed in PA & plugged into a church, plugged into His word, and grew spiritually.  This allowed God to work on our hearts & prepare us for what lies ahead.

So, when it seems like God isn't answering your prayers, remember that sometimes the answer is "no." His plan is perfect and sometimes the things that we want have to go by the wayside in order for his plan to be put into place.  Other times we must wait.  The answer may still be "no," but it could also be "yes," just not now.

Celebrating our Father

This past Sunday we celebrated the earthly fathers in our lives.  Whether they are still here on earth, or in heaven.  There were Facebook posts galore, special meals, and even gifts.  The hard working man in our lives were celebrated in many different ways.

It got me to thinking though.  How often do we celebrate our heavenly father?  How do we show or gratitude to Him for all the blessings that He has given to us?

Oh, we show up to church and worship.  We listen to the sermon.  How often does it stop there?  Are we taking time with Him daily to thank Him?

People (myself included some times) go about our daily lives without stopping to take the time to thank God for all He has done for us.  We find ourselves only reaching out to Him when we need help.  We don't like it when our friends only call us when they need something.  So why do we do that to God?

So here's my challenge to myself... You are welcome to join me.  I want to start each day celebrating God.  Thanking Him for all that He has given to me.  Praising Him through music every day and not just at church on Sunday.

How are you celebrating our heavenly father?  Leave me a comment to let me know 😀.

Controlling my Temper

Ephesians 4:26 says "And don’t sin by letting anger control you. Don’t let the sun go down while you are still angry."  To me that says that we must be careful.  When we get angry, we have to pray & forgive.  It doesn't take much for anger to creep in & control our thoughts and actions.

When I was little, my mom counted when she was angry.  I always thought it was silly.  However, it served a purpose.  It helped her calm down and let go of the anger.  However, I am not always as quick to react as she did.  I want to fume about stuff that in the long run doesn't really matter.

Since this year I am working on being positive, I am working on how to better control my temper.  If I can better control my temper, then maybe I can curb the negativity.  How do you handle anger?  Let me know in the comments.

Change

I don't do well with change.  Yet it's all around me.  Changes at work and at home.  Let's not even talk about the kids growing up 😀.

In the past change always pushed me into a downward spiral.  However, I am looking at the changes before me & I can't help but smile.  I can see God at work.  I can see my children's faith growing as well as their bodies.

Is life perfect?  No... But God has blessed me so much more than I deserve.  With His help, I can get through anything that Satan throws at me.

Remember... Change isn't always bad.  God can use changes in our lives for His glory.  Ask Him for guidance.  He will direct your path.

The Struggle Within

I had a conversation with a friend a little over a year ago.  We both admitted that we had things in our lives that we were struggling with.  We talked a little about those struggles.  That was extremely hard for me.  There are only a select few people that I discuss my struggles with.

Romans 3:23 says " For all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God."  So why do we hide our short comings?  Are we afraid that if others find out that we have faults, that they will think less of us?  I have found that it is more important what God thinks of me, than what people think of me.  Let people think what they want.  Don't let it bother you.

Maybe if we share our struggles with others, then we will find strength in each other.  We can pray for each other.  We can get advice from those that have gone through similar trials.

Forgiveness

I am a very stubborn person.  I have held grudges against people over stupid stuff.  What good does that do?  Absolutely none.  Those people don't care that I have that anger festering within me.  The only person that it hurts is me.

Matthew 6 says we are to forgive others.  It doesn't say "if you feel like it or if you want to." It says if you don't, God won't forgive you.  That's a powerful statement.  If I don't forgive others for their shortcomings, God won't forgive me of mine.

Life is short.  You never know when your time here on Earth is done.  You need to forgive now while you have a chance.  Trust me, once you do, you will find a peace like you have never known.

Is someone hurting my feelings worth me not going to heaven?  I don't think so.  It's not easy, but we must forgive others just as God has forgiven us.

Spiritual Attack

You know I've been learning a lot in the past few months. I'm learning that no matter what I do, Christ has to be the center of it. However, Satan doesn't doesn't like that.

Lately I feel like I'm under attack. I was on a good track of being positive.  Now our Central Air Conditioner is broken.  We also need a new refrigerator.  We found out that both need replaced on the same day.

This stinks!  However, Satan doesn't win this one.  I choose to stay positive.  Some may complain because we just paid off our credit cards.  I choose to thank God that we have the capability to purchase the new items that we need.

You know, it's not just about having put more money on the credit card that we just paid off. It's about the worry and the doubt that Satan puts in your head. The Bible specifically says not to worry. Over and over again it says to trust him. Sometimes it's hard. But in the long run it's worth it!

Do you feel like you are under spiritual attack?  Trust that God will bless you.  Know that He loves you.  Pray for his help & guidance.

Beyond the Miscarriages

Jeremiah 29:11 says "For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.". I can tell you that there have been very dark times in my life where the devil tried to get me to doubt that verse.  I think the hardest times for me were my miscarriages.

You see, even though I am the youngest of six children, there is 10 years between me & my brother.  The age gap just goes up from there.  As a teenager, I always prayed that when I had kids that they would be close in age.  My brothers and sisters had each other to hang out with & help each other.  By the time I was in 2nd grade it was only mom & I living at home.
My husband and I had been married a little over a year when we found out that I was pregnant with our first child.  Excited doesn't even come close to describing it.  Two weeks overdue, she was born by emergency C-Section, but she was perfect.  In fact, she had daddy & pappy wrapped around her little finger even before we left the hospital.
She was about a year old when we started trying to give her a sibling.  However, after a year of trying, it was confirmed that I had stopped ovulating.  So I started taking Clomid.  It worked!  Two months after starting the Clomid I was pregnant.  Again, we were extremely happy.  However, that was short lived.  I miscarried at 8 weeks.  No one could tell us why. I just couldn't understand how a loving God could take that baby away from me.  He knew how desperately I wanted my children close in age, but now my daughter was already 3 years old.  

We tried the Clomid again and I got pregnant after only a few months.  This time I was 10 weeks when I miscarried.  I was heartbroken.

In the midst of my pain, God just kept telling me to be patient and trust Him.  I really struggled with this.  How could I trust God when He kept teasing me with pregnancy only to take the baby from me?

It was a rough and difficult road to recovery.  Not only did my body need to heal after 2 miscarriages in about 9 months, but my heart needed to heal too.  The anger and frustration had taken over.  I was downright mad at God.  He wasn't listening to me.

About a year and a half later, I found out I was pregnant again.  This time, I got pregnant without the use of any medications.  I was happy, but also scared.  What if I miscarry again?  I didn't think my heart could handle it again.  Later that year, our son was born 2 weeks early.  He was happy & healthy.  In fact, that boy is now 11 years old and taller than both my husband & I.

Since his birth, we have not been trying for another child.  However, we have not been preventing pregnancy either.  There have been 2 more miscarriages.  One I took a lot harder than the other (not quite sure why).  But I have to believe that God has a reason for everything.  I have to let go of the hurt & let my heart heal.

Would I welcome another child if God decided to bless me again, absolutely! But I am no longer desperately pleading with God for another child.  I no longer go into a downward spiral every month when I get my period.

Have I forgotten any of those babies that I never got to hold in my arms?  No.  I try to picture my mom, my husband's mom, and other family members in heaven rocking & loving on my babies.  They will forever be a part of my heart.

I am far from perfect.  I struggle to understand God's plan for my life.  How is my broken heart part of His master plan?  However, I know that He holds my future.

Are you struggling?  Leave me a message to tell me how I can pray for you.

Trust & Obey

When we were growing up, there were consequences for disobedience.  We knew that if we were caught doing something that we were not supposed to be doing, that we were in trouble.  Why is it then that we are so quick to disobey God?

There have been plenty of times in my life where God has pointed out things to me that I shouldn't be doing.  I stopped doing them for a while, and then out of nowhere, I was doing them again.  One I can think of right off the top of my head is cussing.  Other times it could be God telling me to do something specific.  Automatically my thoughts turn to "I can't do that.  What will people think?"  I can tell you with certainty, that He will not stop reminding you of what He told you to do.

Look at the story of Jonah.  He didn't want to go to Ninevah.  So he ran from God.  That didn't turn out the way he hoped.  He was swallowed by a giant fish.  However, after he repented, the fish spit him back out & he did what God had told him to do.

Sometimes I feel like Jonah.  I don't want to do what God is asking.  I try to run and do things on my own.  I guess you could relate that feeling to that of a toddler who just screams "NO!" and refuses.  Then there are other times that I feel like a kid when they are being forced to clean their room.  I do what I am told, but I wait as long as I can and do other things first.  Neither of those ways ever worked well with my parents.  It certainly doesn't work well with God either.

I am learning that it is better to be obedient to what God wants me to do.  Every day I pray that God will give me the strength to follow His will for my life.  It's not easy, but God never said following Him would be easy.  He said it would be worth it.

Now keep in mind, Satan doesn't like it when we are obedient.  He likes it even less when we are building a relationship with Christ.  He will try his best to put doubts in your head.  Satan will try anything that he can in order to get in the way of your relationship with God.

For me, that's where I can put my stubbornness to good use.  Every time that Satan attacks, I start playing worship music... I pick up my Bible and read for a while... I start working on this blog... I pray.  A calming reassurance comes over me.  He reminds me to trust Him & have faith that He will work everything out for His glory.

So, pray for God to show you His will for your life.  When He does, and He will, be obedient.  Keep the faith and trust that God will bless you if you follow Him.

Fill my Cup

So often we do so much for others that we feel depleted or empty.  God has given us a heart that cares for others.  But He didn't tell us to do it all alone.

He gave us each other.  We can find strength in each other.  Sometimes talking to a friend or a sister is the best thing to cheer us up.  I often pick on our pastor because he drinks a lot of coffee.  The truth is that I have had some really good conversations with him & his wife over a good cup of coffee.

You see, sometimes God fills your cup by filling your life with Christian brothers and sisters.  These people have been strategically placed in our lives for a purpose.  Look around at the people that have become more than just an acquaintance.  The ones who you have become family.  Learn to rely on them.  Don't forget that as much as you need them, they may need you to be there for them as well.

We are called to love one another.  What a better way to show love to each other.  When we support each other, we keep each other strong.  That strength draws others to us & widens the circle of God's love.

So when it seems like Satan is closing in on you, call on God.  He's only a prayer away.  But remember, he has placed people in your life to help you too.  Reach out to them in your time of need.  Then reciprocate when they need you.

The Order of Things

I am sure by now that anyone who reads my blog is wondering about the title.  I chose the title because I have learned in life that there has to be an order to things.  Without order, there is chaos.  I am not happy when there is chaos in my life.  Therefore, I choose to live in JOY.

     Jesus First
     Others Next
     Yourself Last

God must ALWAYS be first in my life.  I have learned this the hard way.  When I do things without praying about them and seeking wisdom from God, they don't always go the way that I want them to go.  God has a plan for my life, and when I do things on my own, sometimes I get in the way of His plan.

My husband and kids typically come next.  It is important that my husband and kids know that I love them enough to make sure that their needs are met.  After all, they do the same for me.  However, sometimes I find it hard to find a good balance of taking care of others and knowing when I need to take time out for me.

Lastly, I take time out for me.  After all, how can I care for others when I am physically and mentally drained?  There are many things that you can do for yourself that don't cost much money, or even that are free.  A bubble bath can cost only a few dollars every few months depending on the bubbles that you buy.  Sitting down for a cup of coffee uninterrupted really doesn't cost a whole lot if you look at the fact that you are probably buying the coffee anyways.  A phone call to a friend or family member while you drink that cup of coffee is nice too. Sometimes it might just mean spending extra time alone with God.  This morning instead of just reading 1 chapter in my Bible, I read the entire book of Esther before anyone else was even out of bed.  This complete quiet time with no one asking for anything, allowed me to think about what I was reading today and remember some things from a book I was reading yesterday.

I want to also give you something to think about regarding order.  I went to a christian school from 4th grade through 12th grade graduation.  I grew quite fond of several of the teachers there.  After having open heart surgery 5 1/2 years ago, I decided to visit.  A lot of the teachers were very surprised that I was there since they knew of my surgery and had been praying for me.  They all asked how I was doing with genuine concern.  However, one teacher asked a more important question.  He asked "How is your relationship with Christ?"  Honestly, it threw me back a little.  I had to think about my answer.  I answered the best that I could.  I told him that it was getting better.  So even though we want our friends/family to feel well, I think that we need to remember that more important than our physical and mental health, is our spiritual health and well being.

So, my question to you is the same as that teacher asked me.  How is your relationship with Christ?  Also, are you living in JOY?  Do you have something in your life that is getting in the way of your relationship with God?  I would love to hear from you.  Let me know your answers.  If you are in need of prayer, please post your prayer request.  I would be happy to pray for you.

The Beauty Around Us

Those of us that live in the north always wait for spring with excitement.  After a winter full of snow and cold weather, spring brings hope of warm weather, sunshine and pretty flowers.  However, tomorrow is the last day of April, and we had snow flurries this morning.

I got to thinking today... We spend so much time complaining about the cold in the winter, then an equal amount of time complaining about the heat in the summer that we don't really appreciate the beauty around us.

I'm not just talking about the beauty outside either.  Beauty is in everything around us.  To me, there is beauty in spending time indoors with the fireplace on enjoying a cup of coffee or cocoa.  There is beauty in spending an evening outside in the fall or spring around a campfire with friends.  There is beauty in the summer when we can gather as friends/family with a picnic.

So you see, God created beauty outside in nature.  He created beauty in our children.  He created beauty in our family and our friends that have become like family.  We just have to take the time to enjoy the beauty around us.

Work in Progress

I often see posts on Facebook where people are putting each other down. It makes me wonder why we are so hard on each other. We should be encouraging each other & lifting each other up.  However, no one is harder on me than me.  I see each mistake that I have made. I even see the mistakes that only God sees.  I tend to fret about each one.

I thank God everyday that he sees me as a work in progress. He forgives my mistakes. Not only does he forgive my sins, He has wiped them away completely.  With His help, I can make each day better than last.

I am going to do my best to be an encouragement to others.  I want to be an example of God's love in this dark world.  After all, we are commanded to love one another.

Also, if you are like me and you tend to beat yourself up, just remember that God can and will forgive your mistakes if we just ask.  Then you can continue in God's grace.

Love that Endures

I am a very emotional person, so I guess you could say that I have always been sentimental & sappy 😀. Today my husband and I celebrate our 21st wedding anniversary.  Time sure does fly.  I never imagined what a ride it would be.

We have had our ups & downs.  But we always seem to get through it all together.  In fact, just today I was thinking about how we always seem to be there for each other.  You never truly know how much someone loves you until you need to lean on them for strength.

Recently I was reminiscing about the past.  I can think of many instances in life where I had to lean on my husband for strength.  Then there are other times where I was able to be there for him.  God sure knew what he was doing when he placed this God fearing man in my life.

After 21 years, we still have many more adventures ahead of us.  However, with God in the center of our marriage, we can face anything.

What Scares Me

I have always only had a few close  friends.  However, lately it feels more like I have friends, but we are not close any more.  I feel lonely and it scares me to think that God is using that loneliness to pull me closer to Him.  Especially since I have gotten closer to God in the past few months.

My husband and I are both feeling this sense of loneliness & it has gotten worse since my mom passed away.  We often prayed about moving back to NC.  For a long time, we got the answer "just wait." Then all of the sudden we were told "no." That His plan does not include us moving back to NC.

Lately we have been talking about possibly moving back to TX.  This would allow us to be near my husband's family.  The question is, is this God's plan, or is this our want out of loneliness.  What scares me is that I know that if we move & it is not God's will, we will be miserable.  My other fear is my not finding a church family in South Texas.  It is a Spanish speaking community and I don't speak Spanish.  Will I be able to plug in somewhere?

All of these feelings I have given over to God.  I will no longer fret over any of it.  I am praying for God's will to be done.  Wherever He leads, I will follow.  For now though, I will grow and bloom where I am planted.

Why do we worry?

I am a worrier.  Even worse, I am spoiled.  I tend to get angry when there is something that I want but I am not getting what I want or what I feel I need when I want it.   Looking back at life, I can see that God always supplied what I truly needed.  Why is it though that I couldn't see that He knows what I need?  Why am I a worrier when I am called to be a warrior?

One of my favorite scriptures is Matthew 6:24 which says "So don’t worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today’s trouble is enough for today." We need to live for today - not worry about what tomorrow will bring.  No matter what it is, with God on our side, we can do anything. 

I have found that when I let go of my worries & insecurities, that I am happier.  I know that no matter what God's plan is for my life, he goes before me.  Therefore, I don't need to worry.  By giving it all over to God, I have been a happier person.  The Bible clearly tells us not to.  It always tells us to trust.  It's definitely not easy to completely let go & let God.  However, I am slowly learning to do just that.

Is there something that you are worrying about?  Give it over to God.  You will be amazed at the peace that you will feel.

Not today Satan!!!

Quite some time ago our pastor preached about the Armor of God.  I listened... I thought I heard, but I didn't really apply it all.  I kind of took what I thought I needed at the time.  However, God had more for me to learn.

Ever since I got home from the Ladies Retreat, I have been trying my hardest to focus on God & what His will is for my life.  However, Satan has been lurking & waiting for me to put my guard down.  He doesn't want me to succeed.

My husband and I took our son to Washington, DC for a few days.  In fact, we we're lucky enough to have friends (more like family) join us as well.  While at the Museum of the Bible, my husband and I started to get HANGRY.  I can only think that Satan saw us enjoying ourselves and learning more about God & he didn't like it.  After lunch, we were both more mellow.  We were able to continue enjoying the museum & the company that we were with.

On our way home, my husband and I were both exhausted.  Just as I started to fall asleep my husband asked me to talk to him so that I could keep him awake.  First thing that popped into my head was negativity.  However, I sat it aside knowing that if he fell asleep at the wheel that we could crash.  God turned it all around.  We had an awesome conversation that included God.  In fact, I lost track of time and before we knew it we were home and able to rest comfortably.

So, I am learning that when I put aside my negativity, it allows God to step in & bless me as well as those around me.  Positivity helps keep Satan from getting ahold of me.  Remember that when we allow Satan to get even the smallest hold over us, it makes it easier for him to take control over other areas of our lives.  Therefore, we need to constantly be in touch with God in order to keep Satan at bay.

Spiritual Growth

I have been a christian for about 30 years.  However, my relationship with Christ has changed over the years.  Christ has changed me over the years.  I was raised in a christian home.  We went to church on most Sundays.  I even went to a christian school.  I was in 9th or 10th grade when I invited God into my heart in a Bible class at school.

My quiet time this morning started with me reading Hebrews 5:7-14. This really hit home for me.  When I first became a christian, I was excited.  But in time, the excitement wore off.  Something was still missing and I couldn't figure out what it was.  It took a very long time for me to realize that what was missing was a relationship with Christ.  Verse 12 says "You have been believers for so long now that you ought to be teaching others.  Instead, you need others to teach you again the basic things about God's word."  If we stop seeking a relationship with God, your knowledge of His ways start to fade and the old ways of life start to slowly filter back into your life.

I was taught that you never stop learning.  In fact, you should strive to learn something new every day.  That is true with my relationship with Christ.  I need to learn something new every day.  Although it is true that I do learn things from the church services that I attend, that cannot be where it stops.  I must continually pursue a relationship with Christ through the reading of His word as well as other books.  I also need to remember His teachings and be constant in prayer.

Christ has called us to love one another just as He loves us.  But how can we grow spiritually if we don't spend time with Him in order to learn more about His love for us?  Romans 12:9-13 says "9 Love is to be sincere and active [the real thing—without guile and hypocrisy]. Hate what is evil [detest all ungodliness, do not tolerate wickedness]; hold on tightly to what is good. 10 Be devoted to one another with [authentic] brotherly affection [as members of one family], give preference to one another in honor; 11 never lagging behind in diligence; aglow in the Spirit, enthusiastically serving the Lord; 12 constantly rejoicing in hope [because of our confidence in Christ], steadfast and patient in distress, devoted to prayer [continually seeking wisdom, guidance, and strength], 13 contributing to the needs of God’s people, pursuing [the practice of] hospitality."  In order to grow spiritually, I must work on these things.

Is there something that you are working on in order to grow spiritually?  If so, let me know what it is in the comments.  Who knows, it may be something that I need to work on as well. Also, if you feel like there is something that you need to work on but can't figure out what it is, ask God to show you what it is.  He will direct your path.

Blessings

Today as I sit to write I ponder all of life's blessings.  My daughter is almost 19 years old.  She has a full time job and may be promoted to supervisor.  She is also going to Community College and paying for it 100% out of pocket with no student loans.  In the next 2 weeks she will be moving out and into her first apartment.  A few months ago I would have viewed this as a negative situation.  God has worked on my heart.  He has shown me that I have been preparing her for this day.

So again my positivity will win.  This is a major win.  But I must give all of the glory to God.  I could not do this without Him.

Ladies Retreat

For the past 3 years I have been blessed to be able to go to a ladies retreat with other ladies from the church where we are members.  I have had a good time each year, but this year was different for me.  In past years, it was about getting closer with the women that went with us from our church.  However, this year for me it was more about my relationship with Christ.  I spent a lot of time in prayer since I was part of the prayer team.  I felt God moving in the lives of other women who were in attendance.  More importantly, I felt God speaking to my heart.

I have been so caught up in my negative emotions that it was getting in the way of my prayer life with God.  My husband and I talked about it, and even though my husband and I are reading a book about prayer, it wasn't until I went to the retreat and focused on what God had to say to me that I truly thought about how negative I had become.

Another part of being part of the prayer team was praying for others.  I pray for others often, but this was different.  I could feel the Holy Spirit speaking through me & could see the work that he was doing.

I can't wait to see what He has in store for the future.  Changes are happening all around me.  It's exciting!

Word for 2018

Someone posted a YouTube video that really inspired me.  It gave her word for 2018 &  asked others to share their word for 2018.

My word for 2018 is positivity.  Have youyever noticed how your negative attitude affects not only you, but everyone around you?  I have... Even my kids attitude is based off of how I respond to certain situations.

My husband and I have been reading a book about prayer called "Prayer Partners.". In one of the chapters the author talks about how a bad attitude can interfere with our prayer life and ultimately interfere with our relationship with God.  I certainly don't want to be separated from God over my negativity.  Therefore, this year I am striving to be more positive.

Am I saying that I am perfect & that every day is going to be sunshine and rainbows?  No, but with God's help, I can have more good days than bad 😀

If you have read my blog before, you will notice that I have deleted most of my previous posts.  There are a few reasons for this.  Number 1 is that they were negative.  Number 2 is that my intention was never to have anyone pity me, & when I read the old posts now, I can see how it can look like I just wanted a pity party.  Number 3, and the most important of all, they did not glorify God.  Therefore, my hope is that my writing will be more of an inspiration to others in the future.  My goal is that God be glorified as I use the talents that He has given me.