Being Called Out...

I don't know about you, but I don't like being called out.  My word for this year is positivity.  However, lately I have let my anger get the best of me, & it has turned to negativity.  And I have been called on it.

My husband has called me out on not only the anger, but my lack of patience as well.  When the nurse at the doctor's office called at the last minute to let us know our new doctor was not available for his appointment, I went off on the nurse and it was not her fault.  Since I've been working in the same customer service job for almost 19 years, you would think that I would know better. I know what it feels like to have someone yell at you for something that you have no control over.

God has also been calling me out on my lack of patience.  I've been looking into going to school.  However. I was becoming frustrated when I wasn't finding the school that He wanted me to go to right away.  God told me to just hold on and sure enough an online class within my budget became available. And He called me out again reminding me to wait on his timing and not my own.

I'll be honest with you.  When my husband calls me out I tend to get upset or angry. After all, I'm not perfect and neither is he. I don't take it much better when God calls me out. However, I must remember that both God and my husband are calling me out because they care about me.

How do you handle it when you're called out? Do you take criticism with a grain of salt and learn? Or do you do like I do intend to get upset and then have to go back and apologize? I think it's better to learn from your mistakes and accept the criticism. Otherwise we could go through life just making the same mistakes over and over again.

Joy out of Frustration

James 1:2-4 says "Dear brothers and sisters,[a] when troubles of any kind come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy. 3 For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. 4 So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be perfect and complete, needing nothing."

Does this mean we will jump for joy every time we have a trial in life?  Absolutely not!  However, it does mean that we need to understand that some trials in life are meant to teach us something.  You might learn the lesson immediately.  However, if you are stubborn like me, it could be months or even years before you learn that particular lesson.

A friend recently posted on her Facebook page that there are blessings not only in gifts God gives us, but also in the trials of life.  She is so right.  There have been things in my life that I begged God for... Only to either be told no, or to be told to wait.  I have been frustrated over a lot of things.  However, God's plan is ALWAYS better than mine.

So, how do we turn sorrow & frustration into joy?  It certainly isn't easy, and I know from experience that I can't do it on my own.  However, we have all heard Philippians 4:13 "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." That means that if we seek God's will and ask Him for help, He can get us through any difficulty.

My prayer for anyone reading this is that you praise God in times of trouble.  I find that praise music helps tremendously.  It is very calming.  Use this and prayer to give you strength as you seek Joy out of Frustration.

Grief

There comes a time in everyone's life when we lose someone that we love.  My mom used tell me that nothing is certain in life except death & taxes.  I say that nothing is certain except Jesus, death & taxes.

I had just turned 19 years old when my dad passed away.  Since he passed away just before Christmas, it changed the holiday for me.  It was a sad time instead of joyous.  It remained that way until I had kids and saw the excitement in their faces on Christmas morning.

When my brother passed away, it was a pain like I have never felt before.  Then my mom passed away which brought more pain.  Sometimes it has been more than I can bear.

I share this not to make people feel sorry for me, but to show how the death of our loved ones ones can affect us.  The hurt is real.  There is no time table for grief.  Everyone grieves in their own way.

I know a few people grieving.  I pray for them daily.  I understand their struggle.  If you know someone who is struggling with the loss of a loved one, pray for them.  Send them a private message to let them know that you are thinking of them.  It will mean more than you will ever know.

Life Lessons

I bought a new shirt the othe day that says "Blessed by Jesus & Spoiled by my husband."  Most times I love being spoiled.  However, there are times when my wants get in God's way.  I fnd that when something isn't going my way, I often have to stop & try to think about what God's lesson is in that particular trial.  In fact, Romans 5:3 says "we can rejoice too, when we run into problems and trials, for we now that they help us to develop endurance."

So how do we stay positive and rejoice in troubled times?  How do we keep from automatically becoming that person that wants to have constant pity parties?  It's definitely not easy.

For me, I have to stop and ask God to show me the lesson I am supposed to learn.  Then I turn to worship music.  One of my favorite songs is "Praise You in this Storm" by Casting Crowns.  I also love the song "Blessings" by Laura Story.  Both of these songs give me the ability to look at the situation with positivity instead of negativity.

Leave me a note telling me how you keep from becoming negative when it seems like trials are abundant.

Hope for Tomorrow

In a previous post, I stated that we shouldn't worry about tomorrow.  However, we can still hope & dream.  Hebrews 6:11 says: "Our great desire is that you will keep on loving others as long as life lasts, in order to make certain that what you hope for will come true." We should allow hope to bring us joy.

God is constantly working in the background.  He is making plans for our future and setting things in place.  We can go for years without seeing what those plans are, but once He shows us those plans, we can start to plan for that future.

God is slowly showing me the plan that He has for me and my family.  There is joy in planning the next steps of His plan.  There is a lot that needs to be done.  However, I am not stressing over any of it.  I know that God will work it all out.  He is showing me that when I say yes to His plans & give Him control that there is no need to worry or stress.

So as I look forward to what lies ahead, I know that there is hope for the future.

Relationship with God

Have you ever moved to a new city, or even to a new school where you didn't know anyone?  It takes time to meet new friends.  It takes even more time to build lasting friendships.  You have to spend time with them in order to build that relationship.

It's the same with our relationship with God.  It's not enough that you invited Christ into your heart.  He wants a relationship with you.  It is not something that happens over night.  You have to spend time in His word.  You have to pray to hear his voice.  Most of all, you have to submit to God's will.

Growing up I was always sad & angry that I wasn't getting what I was praying for, or I wasn't getting it right then.  Most of all, though, I wanted Him to show me the plan that He had for my life.  However, when I see what lies ahead of me now, I know why He waited to show me His plan.  I would have fought God. 

You see, I never thought that God would call me into ministry.  Satan was lying to me.  He kept telling me things like "Women shouldn't preach God's word." I was never the best student, so Satan would use that to make me think that I'm not qualified to preach His word.

All my life I heard the phrase "God doesn't call the qualified.  He qualifies the called."  I thought I understood what that meant.  However,  the past few years He has given me a lot to think about.  He has been slowly teaching me (qualifying me).  He has put it on my heart to bring others to Him.

It started with little things like my Facebook page.  I didn't think twice about sharing a post that had cuss words in it.  Or complaining on Facebook about how things weren't going my way.  God put it on my heart that I wasn't being a good example.  So I cleaned up my Facebook page.

Next he started working on my relationship with Him.  He showed me that just because I went to a Christian school and went to church, that I still had a long way to go in my relationship with Him.  He showed me that memorizing scripture means nothing if I'm not living those truths.

One of my biggest struggles has always been my lack of patience.  However, when I prayed about moving back to NC, the answer was always "just wait.". When we came to the decision that NC was not where we were to be, there was a complete peace about it.  I can tell you with certainty that if the answer was "no" from the beginning, my very stubborn nature would have been to react with anger.  Instead, he waited and let us come to the conclusion that we are not to be there.

In waiting for His perfect timing, we stayed in PA & plugged into a church, plugged into His word, and grew spiritually.  This allowed God to work on our hearts & prepare us for what lies ahead.

So, when it seems like God isn't answering your prayers, remember that sometimes the answer is "no." His plan is perfect and sometimes the things that we want have to go by the wayside in order for his plan to be put into place.  Other times we must wait.  The answer may still be "no," but it could also be "yes," just not now.

Celebrating our Father

This past Sunday we celebrated the earthly fathers in our lives.  Whether they are still here on earth, or in heaven.  There were Facebook posts galore, special meals, and even gifts.  The hard working man in our lives were celebrated in many different ways.

It got me to thinking though.  How often do we celebrate our heavenly father?  How do we show or gratitude to Him for all the blessings that He has given to us?

Oh, we show up to church and worship.  We listen to the sermon.  How often does it stop there?  Are we taking time with Him daily to thank Him?

People (myself included some times) go about our daily lives without stopping to take the time to thank God for all He has done for us.  We find ourselves only reaching out to Him when we need help.  We don't like it when our friends only call us when they need something.  So why do we do that to God?

So here's my challenge to myself... You are welcome to join me.  I want to start each day celebrating God.  Thanking Him for all that He has given to me.  Praising Him through music every day and not just at church on Sunday.

How are you celebrating our heavenly father?  Leave me a comment to let me know 😀.

Controlling my Temper

Ephesians 4:26 says "And don’t sin by letting anger control you. Don’t let the sun go down while you are still angry."  To me that says that we must be careful.  When we get angry, we have to pray & forgive.  It doesn't take much for anger to creep in & control our thoughts and actions.

When I was little, my mom counted when she was angry.  I always thought it was silly.  However, it served a purpose.  It helped her calm down and let go of the anger.  However, I am not always as quick to react as she did.  I want to fume about stuff that in the long run doesn't really matter.

Since this year I am working on being positive, I am working on how to better control my temper.  If I can better control my temper, then maybe I can curb the negativity.  How do you handle anger?  Let me know in the comments.

Change

I don't do well with change.  Yet it's all around me.  Changes at work and at home.  Let's not even talk about the kids growing up 😀.

In the past change always pushed me into a downward spiral.  However, I am looking at the changes before me & I can't help but smile.  I can see God at work.  I can see my children's faith growing as well as their bodies.

Is life perfect?  No... But God has blessed me so much more than I deserve.  With His help, I can get through anything that Satan throws at me.

Remember... Change isn't always bad.  God can use changes in our lives for His glory.  Ask Him for guidance.  He will direct your path.

The Struggle Within

I had a conversation with a friend a little over a year ago.  We both admitted that we had things in our lives that we were struggling with.  We talked a little about those struggles.  That was extremely hard for me.  There are only a select few people that I discuss my struggles with.

Romans 3:23 says " For all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God."  So why do we hide our short comings?  Are we afraid that if others find out that we have faults, that they will think less of us?  I have found that it is more important what God thinks of me, than what people think of me.  Let people think what they want.  Don't let it bother you.

Maybe if we share our struggles with others, then we will find strength in each other.  We can pray for each other.  We can get advice from those that have gone through similar trials.

Forgiveness

I am a very stubborn person.  I have held grudges against people over stupid stuff.  What good does that do?  Absolutely none.  Those people don't care that I have that anger festering within me.  The only person that it hurts is me.

Matthew 6 says we are to forgive others.  It doesn't say "if you feel like it or if you want to." It says if you don't, God won't forgive you.  That's a powerful statement.  If I don't forgive others for their shortcomings, God won't forgive me of mine.

Life is short.  You never know when your time here on Earth is done.  You need to forgive now while you have a chance.  Trust me, once you do, you will find a peace like you have never known.

Is someone hurting my feelings worth me not going to heaven?  I don't think so.  It's not easy, but we must forgive others just as God has forgiven us.

Spiritual Attack

You know I've been learning a lot in the past few months. I'm learning that no matter what I do, Christ has to be the center of it. However, Satan doesn't doesn't like that.

Lately I feel like I'm under attack. I was on a good track of being positive.  Now our Central Air Conditioner is broken.  We also need a new refrigerator.  We found out that both need replaced on the same day.

This stinks!  However, Satan doesn't win this one.  I choose to stay positive.  Some may complain because we just paid off our credit cards.  I choose to thank God that we have the capability to purchase the new items that we need.

You know, it's not just about having put more money on the credit card that we just paid off. It's about the worry and the doubt that Satan puts in your head. The Bible specifically says not to worry. Over and over again it says to trust him. Sometimes it's hard. But in the long run it's worth it!

Do you feel like you are under spiritual attack?  Trust that God will bless you.  Know that He loves you.  Pray for his help & guidance.

Beyond the Miscarriages

Jeremiah 29:11 says "For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.". I can tell you that there have been very dark times in my life where the devil tried to get me to doubt that verse.  I think the hardest times for me were my miscarriages.

You see, even though I am the youngest of six children, there is 10 years between me & my brother.  The age gap just goes up from there.  As a teenager, I always prayed that when I had kids that they would be close in age.  My brothers and sisters had each other to hang out with & help each other.  By the time I was in 2nd grade it was only mom & I living at home.
My husband and I had been married a little over a year when we found out that I was pregnant with our first child.  Excited doesn't even come close to describing it.  Two weeks overdue, she was born by emergency C-Section, but she was perfect.  In fact, she had daddy & pappy wrapped around her little finger even before we left the hospital.
She was about a year old when we started trying to give her a sibling.  However, after a year of trying, it was confirmed that I had stopped ovulating.  So I started taking Clomid.  It worked!  Two months after starting the Clomid I was pregnant.  Again, we were extremely happy.  However, that was short lived.  I miscarried at 8 weeks.  No one could tell us why. I just couldn't understand how a loving God could take that baby away from me.  He knew how desperately I wanted my children close in age, but now my daughter was already 3 years old.  

We tried the Clomid again and I got pregnant after only a few months.  This time I was 10 weeks when I miscarried.  I was heartbroken.

In the midst of my pain, God just kept telling me to be patient and trust Him.  I really struggled with this.  How could I trust God when He kept teasing me with pregnancy only to take the baby from me?

It was a rough and difficult road to recovery.  Not only did my body need to heal after 2 miscarriages in about 9 months, but my heart needed to heal too.  The anger and frustration had taken over.  I was downright mad at God.  He wasn't listening to me.

About a year and a half later, I found out I was pregnant again.  This time, I got pregnant without the use of any medications.  I was happy, but also scared.  What if I miscarry again?  I didn't think my heart could handle it again.  Later that year, our son was born 2 weeks early.  He was happy & healthy.  In fact, that boy is now 11 years old and taller than both my husband & I.

Since his birth, we have not been trying for another child.  However, we have not been preventing pregnancy either.  There have been 2 more miscarriages.  One I took a lot harder than the other (not quite sure why).  But I have to believe that God has a reason for everything.  I have to let go of the hurt & let my heart heal.

Would I welcome another child if God decided to bless me again, absolutely! But I am no longer desperately pleading with God for another child.  I no longer go into a downward spiral every month when I get my period.

Have I forgotten any of those babies that I never got to hold in my arms?  No.  I try to picture my mom, my husband's mom, and other family members in heaven rocking & loving on my babies.  They will forever be a part of my heart.

I am far from perfect.  I struggle to understand God's plan for my life.  How is my broken heart part of His master plan?  However, I know that He holds my future.

Are you struggling?  Leave me a message to tell me how I can pray for you.

Trust & Obey

When we were growing up, there were consequences for disobedience.  We knew that if we were caught doing something that we were not supposed to be doing, that we were in trouble.  Why is it then that we are so quick to disobey God?

There have been plenty of times in my life where God has pointed out things to me that I shouldn't be doing.  I stopped doing them for a while, and then out of nowhere, I was doing them again.  One I can think of right off the top of my head is cussing.  Other times it could be God telling me to do something specific.  Automatically my thoughts turn to "I can't do that.  What will people think?"  I can tell you with certainty, that He will not stop reminding you of what He told you to do.

Look at the story of Jonah.  He didn't want to go to Ninevah.  So he ran from God.  That didn't turn out the way he hoped.  He was swallowed by a giant fish.  However, after he repented, the fish spit him back out & he did what God had told him to do.

Sometimes I feel like Jonah.  I don't want to do what God is asking.  I try to run and do things on my own.  I guess you could relate that feeling to that of a toddler who just screams "NO!" and refuses.  Then there are other times that I feel like a kid when they are being forced to clean their room.  I do what I am told, but I wait as long as I can and do other things first.  Neither of those ways ever worked well with my parents.  It certainly doesn't work well with God either.

I am learning that it is better to be obedient to what God wants me to do.  Every day I pray that God will give me the strength to follow His will for my life.  It's not easy, but God never said following Him would be easy.  He said it would be worth it.

Now keep in mind, Satan doesn't like it when we are obedient.  He likes it even less when we are building a relationship with Christ.  He will try his best to put doubts in your head.  Satan will try anything that he can in order to get in the way of your relationship with God.

For me, that's where I can put my stubbornness to good use.  Every time that Satan attacks, I start playing worship music... I pick up my Bible and read for a while... I start working on this blog... I pray.  A calming reassurance comes over me.  He reminds me to trust Him & have faith that He will work everything out for His glory.

So, pray for God to show you His will for your life.  When He does, and He will, be obedient.  Keep the faith and trust that God will bless you if you follow Him.

Fill my Cup

So often we do so much for others that we feel depleted or empty.  God has given us a heart that cares for others.  But He didn't tell us to do it all alone.

He gave us each other.  We can find strength in each other.  Sometimes talking to a friend or a sister is the best thing to cheer us up.  I often pick on our pastor because he drinks a lot of coffee.  The truth is that I have had some really good conversations with him & his wife over a good cup of coffee.

You see, sometimes God fills your cup by filling your life with Christian brothers and sisters.  These people have been strategically placed in our lives for a purpose.  Look around at the people that have become more than just an acquaintance.  The ones who you have become family.  Learn to rely on them.  Don't forget that as much as you need them, they may need you to be there for them as well.

We are called to love one another.  What a better way to show love to each other.  When we support each other, we keep each other strong.  That strength draws others to us & widens the circle of God's love.

So when it seems like Satan is closing in on you, call on God.  He's only a prayer away.  But remember, he has placed people in your life to help you too.  Reach out to them in your time of need.  Then reciprocate when they need you.